Letter to my Fat Son

In What I’d Say to My Fat Son, Joshua Max writes movingly about his experience as a fat kid.

He began as a chubby kid with a belly who didn’t hate himself or his body, and grew into a bulimic teenager and adult--a man who may have been of normal weight, but who was filled with shame and body hatred.

It took years--plus $5,000 worth of dental work to fix teeth damaged by stomach acid from repeated regurgitation--but Max has come to a place of peace and body acceptance. What helps him? Making peace with his body and with other people. Surrounding himself with supportive friends. Focusing on small ways to help others when he starts to feel badly about his appearance.

Max’s plan for his potential future son: encourage him to be active, teach him about healthy eating, and help him not to focus too much on his weight. Finally, Max hopes to help his son avoid making value judgments about weight. “If someone hurts his feelings about his size,” writes Max, “we’ll talk about how people are uncomfortable with fat people because they see them as lazy, stupid, incompetent and ugly, but that fat people are none of those things inherently and some skinny people are also those things.” These are wise words from which we all could learn.